Club rules and fining charter
Contravention of any club rule(s) will result in a fine, if such punitive action is agreed by the fining Committee. If an individual disagrees with the decisions of the fining committee, the decision will be referred to the board.
The amount of each individual fine will be decided on an adhoc basis. The player who accrues most fines during any passage of play, match or get together or who commits the biggest single offence, or who merely rubs the fining committee up the wrong way on any particular occasion will accrue the maximum fine, namely the duty to purchase Fowler’s Jug.
Club Rule 17: Players will not be late.
Club Rule 33: Players must always be resplendently attired.
Club Rule 46: Players must always raise their bat to the applause of their teammates.
Club Rule 66: Players holding catches will be lauded like heroes.
Club Rule 4: Players will walk.
Club Rule 98: When chasing targets, players must always throw caution to the wind.
Club Rule 28: Rule 98 can be waived if the player can adequately demonstrate he/she was in the process of ‘Gritting It Out’.
Club Rule 91: All games will have a match report.
Club Rule 77: Players must always ‘Grit It Out’.
Club Rule 23: Even if their wife is in labour and the last train leaves in three minutes, players will come to the pub after games.
Club Rule 1: Green Sox must not criticise other Green Sox in relation to performance on the cricket pitch. Non-cricket related criticism and abuse is mandatory.
Club Rule 5: Players will not dispute the data in the scorebook.
Club Rule 12: Whilst umpiring players will favour opposition players’ appeals, particularly if is likely to lead to a hissy fit by the batsman.
Club Rule 13: Whilst umpiring players will dismiss team-mates by gleefully thrusting forward the crooked finger of doom.
Club Rule 65: Players must never say, ‘applying our skill sets’.
Club Rule 13: Players must never send sycophantic, saccharine emails about HR deadlines that have passed to EM.
Club Rule 49: If Players must insist on flashing outside offstump, they must flash hard.
Club Rule 50: Players will greet consecutive wide balls with a collective sucking in of breath, half hearted clapping and some fairly turgid encouragement.
Club Rule 99: All players must play within the spirit of the game at all times and enjoy themselves. Any players found not to be enjoying themselves will be fined relentlessly until morale improves.